i hesitate to say that in the ever fluctuating distance of our individual futures, the most important moments of our lives are when we stand up to ourselves and make a choice to go against our routines- to eliminate the ordinariness out of our lives. in that instance, when we decide to not accept and be complacent with what life has thrown our way, i am hesitant to say we are freer. i am hesitant because i am writing this words for me. i need to write them and read them. re-read them and continue to re-writing them. if in this self re-generating processes i am going through, someone finds them useful, more power to me. but the idea is that i am on a journey to find the meaning of my life within the journey itself, which these words play a big role in. i write these words in the hopes that someday, hopefully, i will look back and find the meaning they do not have at the moment. hence, the hesitation and reluctance to write them.

in the image above, i find a kind of looking back; metaphorically, much in the same way that i'd like to look back at everything i do (and learn from it). the woman and the ghost of the other woman within her seem to be engaged with whatever they have seen behind them and they are persistently looking back at the camera, at us. their gaze is the allure of this image, which casts a kind of duality; and this duality is contained neither here nor there, it is a kind of an in-between stage, where the viewer and the seen are in a constant state of exchange. the truth is that most men would look at this photograph and see pussy; i look at it and some of what i see is the poetic richness of the black and white, within its own gray tones. in addition to this tonalities, i see an instance of abandoned thinking, amidst a cascading re-assurance of a fleeting glance.

as of today, i stand at a cross road, at the intersection of life and a better life, where only i exist. THIS IS the place where all the possibilities are within my reach, if i want them to be. now, its all a matter of reaching out attaining what i truly desire. in the words of Jenny Holzer, "Protect me from what I want" because what i really want is so great, i am not ready for it at the moment. i believe the time will come when i will be ready to receive it, and then the world will see: it.