that reproduction of beauty

"...artworks are embodied meanings." Arthur Danto

IN an attempt to produce a beautiful image, the meaning of which is an intention of desired beauty, i managed to create a blur, a disillusioned idea: it is the most frustrating thing to fuck up a copper plate. it is not b/c i do not know what i am doing, but it is b/c the print shop where i work is chaotic and disorganized. it is as though i am learning how to etch all over again. whenever i think i have made progress, something in the shop is fucked up and it messes up my work. DAM! (i needed to vent).

art production, in particular print making, is a delicate process in which time is of the essence. any factors that go against this process, delay the end results. there is a certain duality, which demarcates the process itself from the inspired idea. furthermore, this duality articulates the end results by given preference to intention rather than experimentation. in doing so, you are able to explore with intention, enabling the plate to unfold before your eyes. if other "things" happen during this process, things which you did not intend to happen, the plate loses purpose and the image is no longer pure. what i mean by pure is that the image is tainted with unexpected nuisances of which you knew nothing about, and their appearance on the plate negates precisely the very essence of the intended image. so then you need to solve those problems that you were not counting on and it complicates the process. then the original idea is no longer solid; the interpretation of the image becomes a process of 'trying to salvage the image,' which has lost its original direction. if you are a perfectionist like me, you start all over again. i want the purest image to surface, if that is too much, then so be it. one good thing comes out of this, however, and that is that your skills become enhanced, and you learn to problem solve with creativity. i love print-making: it is what i was born to do.

"... there are conditions necessary and sufficient for something to be an artwork, regardless of time and place." Arthur Danto.

touch me

paper music

constructing you

knocked down by your eyes

the first time you saw me in the hallway, you did not know what to do with yourself. back in the fall of 2009, you looked at me as if you had never seen any one like me. your stare was so penetrating that it made me feel as though i could not speak to you. caught in your gaze i felt like a little kid who does not have the words to express any sort of emotional response. i was stunned and flattered, but could not express it. you froze me with your eyes. paralyzed, i got excited by the idea of meeting someone as cute as you. when you were staring at me, i did not know what to do.

the first time i saw you, i caught the back of your body. i had no clue how you looked in the front. magnetized by your energy, i was pulled to you as a magnet pulls another. when i got to the coffee station where you were standing, you walked away. i did not get to see your face in that instance. only feel your alluring energy, which i sought uncontrollably without really knowing why. that day, pushed by the radiating essence of your existence, i searched all over the building for you. when i had given up, we ran into each other on the fourth floor of our school. than you slapped me with that look, as if you could not help but stare.

the charge of energy you threw at me is still stuck on my skin. i try hard to not let it soak me, but to no avail it consumes me each time i see you (or think of the first day i saw you). you will probably never read this lines (wishful thinking), but they are the only link i have to the memory that moment. even though you saw me today and acted very nonchalant, the look you gave me as you were exiting my floor revealed there might still be some interest. i am the coward for not taken the time to say hi, after you have clearly gone out of your way to say hi and smile.

the way in which you looked at me the first time you saw me left me speechless. like a mute. unable to speak the gladness which surged through my veins the instance your glance touched my eyes. even if we never speak after today's exchange, i still had the pleasure of saying hello. even if you did not look at me as you said hello back. i could live with that. i must admit that it took months to untangle my self from the intensity of your gaze. it took weeks to shake it off. i would still like a chance meeting with you.

i waited too long to say hello. i became tongue tide. i lost my confidence. your eyes punched me and knocked me down.

Female incarnation

Im here

Please stay (with me)